What I Learned from Buddy
Adopting a fur child (dog) after the death of
Muffassa, my first and most beloved fur child was not my idea.
My husband, however, thought getting a companion for Surrobbie,
our female Yorkie, was a good idea. We decided to adopt a rescue
animal knowing that there would be issues to contend with, but
feeling like that was a better way to go. After several months
of searching, Buddy found us. I say Buddy found us because I
never actually applied for Buddy. I had applied for a different
Yorkie, but someone else adopted him. The woman who fostered
that Yorkie notified me that she had Buddy and, after meeting
him, we decided to adopt him. Buddy isn't the perfect Yorkie
I had imagined. In fact, he really isn't a Yorkie at all (although
I haven't told him that). He doesn't have very good manners
and he spends hours chasing his tail. The unexpected gift Buddy
has given me is acceptance. No, Buddy isn't perfect. He is just
At first, there was a lot of comparing Buddy to
Muffassa. Of course, Buddy wasn't going to win that game. I
quickly realized that comparing someone to anyone else, especially
someone departed, isn't fair. Buddy will never be Muffassa,
but he will always be Buddy. He has his own personality and
is unique in his own way. What I learned from Buddy is that
everyone is special. Instead of comparing I can appreciate the
gifts Buddy has to offer and still love and treasure my memories
I had a hard time loving Buddy at first. I felt
that somehow that was going to diminish my love for Muffassa.
That simply isn't true. Love is unlimited. There is more than
enough to go around. I can love Buddy without feeling guilty
and without worrying that it makes me love Muffassa any less.
Muffassa will always have a special place in my heart, and so
The greatest gift I have received from Buddy is
that of acceptance. Accepting others as they are with their
gifts and quirks is amazing. Once I got over wanting Buddy to
be something he wasn't I felt better and more open to allowing
Buddy into my life. As long as you want someone to be anything
but who they are, there is no opportunity to embrace that person
and let them into your life. Acceptance is the greatest gift
you can give anyone. Once you accept someone for who they are
- gifts and quirks - you can create an opportunity for a deep
and caring relationship.
Allowing a new relationship into your life after
a loss is challenging. There is always going to be the temptation
to compare the past person to the present. Keep in mind that
there is more than enough love to go around, and you can open
your heart to someone new while still loving the person who
is gone. It doesn't mean that you love that person any less;
actually, it doesn't mean anything. You simply have found a
new person to shower with the abundance of love you have. There
is more than enough to go around and your heart has the capacity
to love many.
Coach Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD provides daily motivation,
information and inspiration to thousands of busy self development
enthusiast who want to stay focused and on track to their goals
through her award winning e-zine 365 Days of Coaching. For a
free report, "The Power of Daily Action - How to create
more Wealth, Health and Happiness by Tapping Into the Power
of Daily Action" go to http://www.365daysofcoaching.com/daily_action.htm.
2006 True Direction, Inc.